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Snake in the Grass

Wednesday, October 15, 2003

9:30PM - -open-

Wednesday night was her Astronomy class, but there was still a couple hours before that started. Millie was studying in the library, working on Charms project, the one that was only for her own enjoyment, and hoping that Padma might wander in to interrupt. She wasn't having a lot of luck concentrating, so it wouldn't hurt to stop for a bit.

She glanced out the nearest set of windows and sighed, there wasn't anything to see as it was already dark. Rubbing her temple briefly, she turned back to her notes only to jump back as a hand waved in front of her face.

Current mood: blah
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Tuesday, October 14, 2003

3:18PM - -open-

Tuesdays were always slow, and Millicent was glad when her last class finally got out. She enjoyed the Muggle Studies classes, but she wanted to be able to sit down somewhere and shut her eyes for a bit. She wandered through the halls, trying to find a spot, but eventually took a rest by leaning against a wall. There were some offices in this corridor, and a few classrooms nearby; she thought briefly about claiming a desk in one of the empty rooms, but she didn't want to deal with dust.

Sighing, she closed her eyes and let her bag fall next to her feet. She'd just think for a moment before starting out again.

Current mood: complacent
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Saturday, October 11, 2003

9:36PM - -open-

She was bored and lonely, and the combination was beginning to feel like her normal state of being. Millie wasn't content to sit in the library, she didn't want to spend time with the people sitting in the Great Hall, and the Common Room was crowded. It had rained most of the day though and even with only a slight chill the Astronomy Tower was empty.

She set a small lantern to one side and sat, leaning against one wall. A lot of the students had started journaling after the war, it was a suggestion that professors had made to help them write out what they didn't feel comfortable discussing. Millie had taken it to heart and soon it bled over into other areas of her life. She took out her journal, wishing she didn't need to be alone for this, and started writing.

Journal EntryCollapse )

She broke off quickly, shoving the journal beneath her knee as she heard footsteps on the tower steps.

Current mood: lonely
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Thursday, October 9, 2003

4:17PM - -open-

One more day until the weekend and Millie was looking forward to it, even if she didn't have any plans beyond study. She had a feeling that a lot of the other students would be hiding away to finish essays and work on projects as well. Hopefully she wouldn't be alone for the entire weekend though.

She made it through all of her classes, sighing in relief when Potions was let out finally. After a quick run through her dorm room, and a few civil greetings to her roommates, she had her Charms homework and was back out the door.

Millie settled into a spot in the middle of the library, spreading out some of her books before anyone could sit to either side of her, and started editing her latest essay.

Current mood: determined
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Tuesday, October 7, 2003

1:46PM - locked to Padma

She was doing the brooding thing again, but Millie noticed that the tone of her thoughts was different today. She felt lighter somehow, and part of that had to be because of the division between Bella and Padma. No matter how bad she felt for Bella or Padma over what had happened between the two, there was something in her that was glad because of it as well.

She sat at the bottom of a staircase, waiting for it to move away from the empty hall in front of her, and bit her lip. Perhaps it was time to seek out Padma and try the whole 'getting to know each other' routine they had discussed. She got to her feet slowly and brushing off her robe and skirt she started back up the stairs.

Current mood: hopeful
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Monday, October 6, 2003

5:53PM - -open-

She hadn't been very productive in the last week, and Millicent found herself in a private study alcove on Monday to make up for that fact. There wasn't a great deal to do, but it made her feel better to be finishing assignments and reorganizing instead of procrastinating in her dorm.

She had to think about her next move also. She really should have spoken to Padma on the weekend, but her mood wasn't a good one to inflict on people she liked. And then she and Bella had that discussion and had kissed. She stopped that train of thought quickly, it wasn't part of the productive evening she had planned and only led to blood letting and whining.

She twined her fingers into her hair and pulled hard, once, before leaning over the desk. Maybe a short distraction would be a good idea.

Current mood: contemplative
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Saturday, October 4, 2003

7:50PM - -open-

Since that morning she had done very little except sit in an empty girls bathroom, chatting with a whiny ghost, and brew headache potions. And it was not only depressing, but eye opening. No wonder no one spent any time with her anymore, if she was half as bad as Myrtle she was lucky that people even looked at her.

Sitting in one place for hours also made her reevaluate her decision to find non-athletic hobbies. Her legs needed a good stretch and she had a desire to do something vigorously active. She had the urge to be bad, and she had half a hope that she might run into Bella so she could ask for a 'lesson' or two, if she were still willing. Millie even had the urge to ask someone to hit her, at least then she could concentrate on something other than emotions. She probably deserved it anyway.

She sat on the steps and looked down into the main entrance of the school. Dinner was almost over and there would be a mass exodus soon enough, she just wanted to find someone to spend a little time with, angst free if possible.

Current mood: energetic
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11:11AM - -open-

Saturday morning and not many people awake and moving yet, the perfect set-up in Millicent's perception. She had decided late the night before that she needed to start brewing something, hopefully simple, and now it was time to carry the plan out. She gathered her supplies, equipment, and made her way to the girl's second floor lav.

She hadn't told Padma about this, partly because she had made the decision so late and was carrying it out so early. But partly because they hadn't spoken in days and she felt uncomfortable about the whole situation.

Millie made it to the lavatory without incident but realized when she got there that something was missing. She left her supplies to one side of the room and ducked back out into the hallway, only to hear footsteps approaching. She took several hurried steps down the hall, away from the door and hoped it was not apparent where she had come from.

Current mood: nervous
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Friday, October 3, 2003

1:53PM - -open-

Millicent was the first to bolt out of the Astronomy class when it finally let out in the afternoon. She didn't bother going by the dorm to drop off her books, she just went directly to the Quidditch stands for a sit down. Lately it seemed that it was chill all the time and she wanted to enjoy some of the autumn weather before it grew too late in the season. And if she were alone for a while perhaps she could partake in one of her minor hobbies. She just hoped that no on overheard.

She cupped her chin in her hands and leaned forward, staring at the pitch. There was a new idea this year and she had to work out some of the details. "I could join a circus," She told herself. "I would be called Olga or Brunhilda and I would have an amazing trapeze act. All of the muggle circuses would want me to join them in their word tours." That sounded nice, but maybe it needed something more.

"I would have to be outlandish and have colorful affairs with aerial artists. And then, the love of my life, a Puerto Rican lion tamer...who speaks no English." That added a bit of spice. She giggled and covered her mouth with both hands. "Much better than last year's plan to become a nun."

Current mood: crazy
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Wednesday, October 1, 2003

5:13PM

Owl to Padma PatilCollapse )

Current mood: complacent
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3:36PM - -open-

The lack of sleep was starting to creep up on her and Millie was finding herself dozing in odd places all day. She hadn't fallen asleep in the library, as she had last week, but it was a close thing. She rubbed her eyes and followed a group of Third year students toward the main entrance of the castle, eventually stopping in an empty corridor.

Millie walked a bit further, until reaching one of the large, magnificent windows that overlooked the grounds. A grouping of chairs was underneath and she sat in one, intending to rest her eyes for only a minute or two.

Current mood: sleepy
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Tuesday, September 30, 2003

3:41PM - Locked to Padma

In contrast to the majority of her years at Hogwarts, there really wasn't a lot going on. No overwhelming fear or stress of outside forces, except perhaps about the tests she and every other Seventh would be taking and the panic of the Fifth Years over the O.W.L.s. Millicent wondered if that was why the students seemed to be creating all of the drama that was currently going on.

She finished her second class of the day, and was heading for lunch when she detoured and headed outside instead. She had been skipping too many meals, but she wasn't hungry anyway. And it was nice outside. Flying lessons would be finished until after lunch and she could sit in peace for a short while. However, she didn't mind the interruption when she saw a familiar face approaching.

Current mood: bored
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8:38AM - -open-

Despite the early hour, she was already heading for the Astronomy tower. Millicent seemed to find herself heading in that direction often, only to remember what she was supposed to be doing and switch course. She had some time before Transfigurations, and breakfast, and she needed to find a place to think though. And it was beginning to be a Tuesday tradition.

It would be time for Padma's run soon, and Millie wanted to speak with her but not until later in the day. She needed some time to think before then, an impartial sounding board perhaps, and a lot of sugar.

Current mood: cynical
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Sunday, September 28, 2003

3:30PM - -open-

She didn't know why she was in such a good mood, but Millie wasn't going to ruin things by missing out on it. She felt like dancing, or playing, and since her work was finally finished she had the free time to do whatever she wanted. She was moving through the corridors toward the Great Hall for dinner, not quite skipping, almost dancing her way there.

Millie knew that she probably looked like an idiot, but she was happy and she didn't care for a change. She hadn't even had a collision with anyone yet.

Current mood: bouncy
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9:50AM - -open to Slytherins-

After spending the night in the Great Hall Millie wanted nothing more than a real rest. She gathered her things long before breakfast and made her way into the Slytherin dorms, putting everything away before returning to the common room with Nemesis. The cat was in a rare affectionate mood, sitting on her lap and allowing a back scratch.

She was right in telling Bella that she needed to think, there were possibilities with Padma as well. Millie just didn't know what she wanted, and when she figured that out she wasn't sure how to get it. Maybe that was why she kept putting things off; she had no experience with any of it and if rumours were to be believed both of the others girls did. She sighed deeply and leaned back into the couch, pulling the cat with her. It kept coming back to the same thing, if she could get rid of that pesky virginity problem maybe she would have the courage to act on some of her feelings instead of just procrastinating.

The doorway to the common room opened behind her several times as she sat there thinking, others dragging themselves back from the party or breakfast perhaps. She didn't pay them much attention and continued stroking her cat, until someone approached.

Current mood: confused
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Saturday, September 27, 2003

10:46PM - -open-

When Bella took a moment to go to the refreshment table and visit with Tonks, Millicent decided to take a stroll around the hall to see who else was there. She smiled at a few people and said hello, but wasn't inclined to join anyone for a sit down. She missed seeing Padma, but understood the loyalty the other girl had to her twin.

Millie had almost completed a full circuit of the large room when she stumbled over someone she hadn't seen. "I'm terribly sorry."

Current mood: awake
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6:17PM - open

Millie froze in the middle of the entry way, unsure of where to go. Was she just supposed to claim any space, should she find someone friendly to plop down next to? She bit her lower lip and looked around, trying to decide.

Current mood: anxious
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Friday, September 26, 2003

12:28PM - +open+

Millicent spent most of early Friday in a daze. She had finally gotten some sleep the night before, free of the headaches for a change, but had no drive to get involved in anything. She skipped breakfast and started to perk up when she was in her Advanced Charms class. She had decided to speak with Professor Flitwick soon, but wanted to do a little more work on her proposal first.

By the time lunch was served she was starting to feel better, and the way that people were chatting about Ron's slumber party-movie event it sounded as though a lot were excited about it. Millie was getting in the mood for it also, still a little unsure about going. She picked at her food and laughed at the antics of the Third Years down the table for a while, but the meal was over eventually and she had some free time before her next class.

She headed outside, tempted by the nice weather, and sat on one of the benches placed in the yard.

Current mood: listless
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Wednesday, September 24, 2003

4:41PM - +open+

Millie was avoiding the Astronomy Tower for the moment, she had class there later in the night and it would be the third night in a row she had spent time up there. She wasn't in the mood for the library, but she hadn't been there for days and her project was already getting put aside. She was having second thoughts about it. Maybe she should just get the University information and start preparing her applications instead.

It gave her something to do after her classwork was finished though, and distracted her from the thoughts about both Bella and Padma. She couldn't decide whether it was best to give up on the idea of relationships, or if she should go to Pansy and lay down on the alter of submission to beg for help in a complicated scheme.

She set out her books, parchments, quills, and then instead of looking at any of it, lay her head down and fell asleep in the library.

Current mood: drained
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Tuesday, September 23, 2003

8:48PM - +open+

She was bored, she was confused, and now she felt like she was being lead around for a promised treat that was never going to be given. Millie ran her hand over the wall, waving at the people in paintings as she passed them. Part of her wanted to get caught roaming, and so she stayed out until it was late.

Finally she made her way up into the Astronomy Tower, which seemed empty thankfully. She sat in the middle of the empty floor and curled her arms around her knees, and tried to sort out her thoughts.

Current mood: anxious
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